#50 The Salty Six Pack-The Blame Game to Re-Frame Being Angry
#50 The Salty Six Pack-The Blame Game to Re-Frame Being Angry
We have all been angry before. Sometimes we are angry about one thing, or at another person and sometimes it’s just the straw that broke the camels back. The question is, how do you stop being angry? How do you break free of the negative thinking? How do you reframe the story that you are telling yourself?
The fact is, we rarely know the entire story. We rarely have all of the facts. And We never know what truly motivates ourselves and others. When we have holes in the story, our brain is designed to fill in those holes to paint a picture. This is a great thing; it helps us draw conclusions when making big decisions. It helps us to remember things, tell stories and even relate to others.
Unfortunately, it also means that when something happens that we don’t like, our brain fills in the holes. When someone makes a decision that affects you, your brain fills in the holes so you can understand the whole picture. When a mistake is made and you are trying to understand what happened, your brain fills in the holes and lastly when someone makes you angry, you guessed it. . . your brain fills in the holes.
The thing is, these holes are often not accurate because you are coming at it from a place of anger, judgement and resentment. This is compounded when you live and work with the same people all of the time.
So how do we break out of this cycle of anger, resentment, and repeating the same half accurate story?
Six Pack Exercise:
Step 1. Imagine you picked up a pack of beers and each beer is different. It’s like a tester pack from those fancy brewery’s. When you are thinking about what happened and why you are angry, disappointed, hurt etc. the first conclusion you jump to is one of those beers.
Step 2. Make up 5 other stories that correspond to each beer.
Think about an outrageous situation, something totally out of the whelm of possibilities
Create a story that blames another person
Create a story that blames God
What is another logical story but probably not reality
Give the other person the benefit of the doubt, if they were doing what they thought was best, what would the story be?
Step 3. Which one most likely actually happened?
Sources: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsOKrCVs6WM&t
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